Valtor's magical weed adventure
by Ultimate Bohab
Summary: Valtor gets high and low, but will his burger be made to order
1. Valtor Gets High

One day Valtor, an evil sorcerer who looked like Labyrinth-era David Bowie, was stressed. He was so stressed that he decided to light up a joint and mellow out. He could have jacked off, but he did that an hour ago and Valtor was not endowed with much genital prowess. Valtor slumped in his chair and enjoyed the marijuana haze, but was rudely interrupted by some witches. "Stop being such a fucking stoner and help us defeat the Winx Club." Icy bitched. "Chill out skank." Valtor replied, chuckling at the witty pun. "I'm out of here, I got the munchies and I require fast food." With that, Valtor swished his ridiculous overcoat and flew to the nearest Burger King. Icy looked to her sisters. "So what now?" "I'm gonna go check my tumblr." Darcy said. "I'm going to go rub my head on some shag carpet." Stormy said.

Valtor was about to walk in the front door of the Burger King when he remembered that the manager had banned him, because last time he pissed all over the men's bathroom in a drunken stupor. So instead he magically created a car and went to the drive thru. As he drove up to the counter he was greeted by a bird man who's name tag read "Shane." Valtor only looked at the menu for a moment before ordering. "Hey peon, I'll get a whopper, a coke, and fries. Oh, and NO PICKLES." Shane glared at the stoned wizard before replying. "Of course sir." angered by Valtor's rudeness, he slipped several pickles into the burger. The wizard grabbed the bag and payed in quarters, leaving no tip before he flew away in his magical fake car.

Valtor returned to his lair, eager to eat his whopper. He sat down in his chair and opened the box, licking his lips. However, when he bit into it, the taste of pickles invaded his mouth. Valtor growled in rage and threw the burger across the room. "I specifically said NO pickles!" he shouted. "How could they get my order wrong!?" the commotion startled all of the witches except Darcy, who was too involved with reblogging gay Avengers porn. "Shane must pay for his insolence." Valtor seethed. "As soon as I take another hit."


	2. Valtor's Inner Piss Journey

Valtor sat in a lotus position on the floor, inhaling the marijuana smoke around him. His relaxation skills were as high as he was, and he failed to notice that he had pissed his silken purple pants. The wizard was trying to remember the task he had set out to do. The last night was a blur of weed and pickles which confused him greatly. There was something he wanted but it escaped his drug addled mind. Valtor magically searched through the corridors of his brain, looking for purpose. Several obstacles were in his way, all figments of his own weed imagination.

There was some kind of green slug woman going through the horrifying beauty of birth, constantly spewing out little Valtor babies. The wizard recognized this as a suppressed trauma from his creation, and overcame it through sheer power of will, leaping over the creature by using a baby as a springboard. Other trials included a shitload of drugs that he wanted to stop and experiment with, a weird fetishistic image of Icy with balls and a schlong that for some reason he really wanted to bang, and a giant pickle. Valtor fought through these as well, searching for the truth. At last he found it: some asshole had messed up his order at Burger King.

"SHAAAAAAAAAANE" Valtor screamed as he awoke from his trance. "Jesus, what the fuck are you witching about?" Icy said. "I must have my revenge!" Valtor replied, his eyes as red as an entire sun. From weed. Not evil. "Good. Maybe you'll finally sober up and kill Bloom then." Darcy said, not looking up from her laptop. "Ugh, what is that smell?" Asked Stormy, who was standing closest to Valtor. The wizard looked her dead in the eyes. "I seem to have urinated on my pants."

* * *

Shane yawned as he looked out the drive-thru window. Business was slow tonight at the Burger King. At least the wizard hadn't shown up, Shane thought. "That guy was really fucking annoying." he said out loud. "WHAT THE FUCK DID I TELL YOU ABOUT LANGUAGE YOU FUCKING DISGRACE" his manager shouted from the back. Shane rolled his eyes as Night Shift Manager Darkar stepped out from the back office, decked in gleaming crimson armor and a Burger King kid's crown.

"The customers can't hear that kind of shit, it's drives them away." the dark lord said. "Sorry Mr. Darkar, it won't happen again." the bird man said. "Oh, and if that pissface Valtor comes back, just mess up his order again." Darkar ordered, transforming into a brillant phoenix cloaked in shadow. "I'm gonna be in my office watching porn."


	3. Hamburger Time

Valtor stepped out of the sauna with purpose. He would go back to the Burger King and get a whopper without pickles this time. One built to his specifications. With the power of pot coursing through him nothing could stop him, not even Shane the bird man. Valtor laughed wickedly as the slipped out of his robe to change into his usual attire. "Soon I shall have what I desire." he chuckled aloud. However before he was able to cover his naked body with a single article of clothing, Icy walked into the room.

Valtor stood rigidly in the nude as Icy looked on in surprise. This surprise soon turned into laughter as Icy saw how tiny the sorcerer's prick was. "I can't believe I ever wanted to fuck you! Look at how small your wizard wang is!" the witch guffawed. Valtor frowned as he realized he was being mocked. "It's not the size that counts, it's how you use it." he said. Icy laughed even harder. "Like you've ever used it before, NERD" she said. "I don't have to take this, I'm motherfucking Valtor. And now I'm going to go back to Burger King and finish what I started. Which is getting a burger without pickles." then Valtor left without putting his clothes on.

Shane groaned as he saw Valtor's magical convertible come up to the drive-thru. Then he groaned even louder when he saw that Valtor was naked as a baby's biscuit. "We meet again Shane, and don't think I've forgotten the injustice you caused me." the wizard said. The bird man sighed. "What would you like, sir?" "You know what I want. Fries, a coke, and a whopper WITHOUT pickles." Valtor said. "Of course sir." Shane replied. "And don't you dare put pickles on anything. I HATE PICKLES" Valtor shouted. "Yeah, fuck you too buddy!" A man with red dreadlocks and eyebrow piercings said from across the street in a decidedly Wisconsin accent, flipping the sorcerer off.

Shane prepared Valtor's meal in the back of the restaurant. "He'll be looking so hard for pickles that he'll never notice that I gave him a veggie burger instead of a regular one." the bird man snickered. He then brought the bag out to his nude customer, who grabbed it impatiently. Valtor opened up the burger immediately to check for pickles, and nodded in satisfaction when he saw none. "You have made a wise decision Shane. But since I'm evil you will receive no tip." Valtor said, hastily paying with one dollar bills that still reeked of weed. He then sped away in his car, leaving a trail of smoke that was not from his car. It was from weed.

Valtor returned to the lair only to be met by a trio of cackling witches. He grew angry at their giggling and pointing at his nether regions. "Why are you laughing!?" he demanded. Then he looked down. He was still naked. And his dick was still the size of an inchworm. "You were right, it DOES look like a tiny mushroom!" Darcy said. "Even I can tell it's small, and this is the first penis I've ever seen!" Stormy said. "ENOUGH! I have a burger to eat!" Valtor commanded, fleeing to his personal quarters.

Valtor got a boner as he unwrapped the whopper for a second time, knowing that there were no pickles contaminating it. He took a huge bite out of the burger, expecting a beefy flavor sensation. Instead, all he received was disappointment and pain. Instead of a succulent beef patty, Valtor tasted the sorrow of a veggie burger wrapped in misery. "No... it cannot be... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Valtor screamed, hands raised to the sky. "SHANE MUST PAY, ONCE AND FOR ALL."


	4. Act Of Valtor

Valtor was angrier than he had been for a long time. Since he had been frozen in the Omega dimension, in fact. Spending 17 years in an icy prison had not been his favorite thing, but at least no one had gotten his order wrong. He hadn't actually eaten either, but that was beside the point. "How DARE he serve me a veggie burger! The insolence of it all! I will show him true pain for the misery he has caused me!" Valtor shouted. Even weed hadn't calmed him down. The wizard's fury burned through the mellowing affect of the hash and coursed through his veins.

Stormy and Darcy were playing Battletoads on the SNES because everybody fucking loves Battletoads. Then Valtor stormed into the room and smashed the console with his foot. "What the hell did you do that for? We were at the last level!" Stormy yelled. "There is more at stake than a trivial video game, you fool." Valtor said, eyes blazing with hate. "I must have my revenge." "More important than Battletoads? Bullshit. Unless you're finally going to kill Bloom." Darcy said. "Bloom? No. I'm going to kill the one who gave me all this grief; Shane the bird man."

Valtor loaded the magical clips into his magical M-16 and strapped a bullet belt across his chest. He put his magical Colt 45 into his leg holster, tightened the straps on his combat boots, and looked in the mirror. He was ready for war. Valtor smiled at the thought of putting a bullet into Shane's intentionally-wrong-order-getting brain. "Nothing can stop me from gaining my vengeance. Perhaps I shall even destroy the entire Burger King for its treason against me." the wizard said. "But no. After I kill Shane I will make my own burger, one with extra tomato and no pickles." then Valtor laughed. He does that a lot. Probably because of the weed.

Shane stood at the counter, waiting for customers. "At least I don't have the drive-thru tonight. Maybe that goddamn wizard won't bother me." he said. Then the doors of the Burger King exploded. "Shit." Shane muttered. "I AM HERE FOR YOU BIRD MAN. PREPARE TO DIE." Valtor said, waving his gun around. Shane's eyes widened, he hadn't expected this. He ducked behind the counter as a volley of bullets whizzed overhead. "WHAT THE FUCK" Shane shouted. Hearing the profanity, Night Shift Manager Darkar, stormed out of the back room. "WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT-" he stopped mid sentence when he saw Valtor. "Fuck."

Darkar and Valtor glared at each other. "Well, if it isn't the lord of the Underrealm. I thought you were dead." Valtor said, taking a drag on his joint. "Ha! It would take a lot more than those pathetic Winx to kill me! They merely banished me to the dark realm of the fast food industry. It took me months, but I finally climbed the ladder and became a shift manager! I won't let you undo the work I've done!" Darkar said. "Fuck you dickweed." Valtor eloquently responded.

Who will win, Valtor or Darkar? Weed or fast food? Evil or evil-er? Stay tuned to find out, only on 4Kids TV


	5. Dark and Darkar

He was once the ruler of the Underrealm, the Shadow Phoenix, the ultimate evil of the magical dimension. He had nearly unlocked Realix and conquered the universe, but was defeated mere moments before victory. They had thought him dead, but he survived. Lord Darkar was sent to another realm, more hellish than he could have ever imagined: the realm of fast food. He had started as a mere janitor, but his ruthlessness and drive quickly elevated Darkar through the ranks of the local Burger King's employees to the position of Night Shift Manager. Now the stoner wizard Valtor sought to tear down the legacy he had built out of greasy fries and high calorie food. That could not happen.

"You will not rob me of the power granted to me by the Burger King upper management!" Darkar roared. "I will destroy you here and now, pisswizard!" he shot a blast of magical energy at Valtor, who jumped out of the way just in time as the wall behind him exploded. "You have already robbed me of a proper meal!" Valtor responded. "And why? Because I got drunk one time and ruined your restroom facilities?" "There was piss everywhere, it took hours to mop up!" Shane cut in. "SILENCE BIRD MAN, YOU ARE THE TRUE ROOT OF THIS" Valtor shouted, firing his gun at the cash register. It exploded. Then Darkar fired another energy beam, and a table also exploded.

"It's like a fucking Michael Bay movie in here." Shane said. "WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY ABOUT SWEARING" Darkar howled, fire gushing from his mouth. It hit the ceiling and the flame spread ridiculously quickly. Valtor took this opportunity to fire a shot straight at the Night Shift Manager's chest. It bounced off his armor harmlessly. "Damn." Valtor said, taking a weed break. At this point the tables and curtains were on fire as well. The smoke detectors didn't go off because one time Darkar wanted to smoke on the job. "Curse my nicotine addiction!" Darkar said.

The sorcerer threw his gun away, realizing that it wouldn't be enough to defeat the dark lord. He then gathered a ball of dark matter in his hands and threw it at Darkar. His opponent merely laughed and absorbed it into his hand. "Oh, you think darkness is your ally? You merely adopted the darkness. I was born in it, molded by it!" Darkar said. "I should have known the name was a giveaway." Valtor realized. "But I didn't, because I'll be honest, I'm really fucking baked."

Darkar blasted Valtor across the room, slamming him into the flaming wall. The wizard's coat caught on fire, so he stopped dropped and rolled to put it out. "I don't have enough power. If only I hadn't spent so much time smoking pot and actually focused on stealing magic." Valtor said to himself. Darkar laughed. "Indeed, you fucking disgrace." he strode over to the wizard that was still on the floor and roughly kicked him in the stomach. "Your incredibly homosexual hair and clothing won't save you now." the evil manager chuckled.

Valtor coughed up blood and stared at his foe. Darkar looked down on him mockingly. "Your corpse will replace the cardboard cutout of the King we have out front. The customers will love it." he sneered. Valtor knew he was in a bad spot, but he was so high he couldn't think of a solution. Then conveniently the memories of his judo training on that one martial arts planet came back. He did a scissor leg takedown on Darkar and brought him down to the floor, then jumped up immediately afterwards. Darkar attempted to stand, but was sent flying by a well placed sidekick from Valtor.

The Night Shift Manager staggered to his feet, supported by the service counter. "FOOL" he roared, blasting Valtor with his most powerful attack. The wizard crashed through the Burger King window and landed in the streets outside. "HAHAHAHA YES" Darkar cackled. However, the fire had consumed the entire building at this point, and the supports were burned away. A beam fell from the ceiling and landed right in front of Darkar, who realized a second too late what was going on. "Well shit." he said as the entire structure collapsed on top of him in a flaming pile. Valtor shakily got up and gazed upon the ruins of the Burger King that had defied him. "That's what you get for being pickle whores." he said, finishing off his joint.


	6. Darcy's Old Fashioned Hamburgers

Valtor returned to his lair a new man. He didn't give up drugs alcohol or evil, but he did destroy a most hated enemy out of sheer spite, and that's just as good. He sat down in his leather chair, put In A Gadda Da Vida onto his old turntable, and lit up a joint. Only one thing troubled his mind now, the fact that he never got to eat a delicious fast food burger without pickles. "It can wait." Valtor said, too content/stoned to really care.

"That jackwagon is never going to get around to actually stealing magic and destroying the Winx club! He's too fucking high to even think!" Icy complained. "Forget that mess, we're running out of cash." Darcy said, leafing through the few dollar bills they had left. "Looks like I'm going to have to get a job to support your lazy asses." "But Darcy, prostitution is illegal in Magix." Stormy said. "DON'T STOP YOU THREE FROM BEING HOS" Valtor shouted from the back room. He then proceeded to laugh so hard that his chair tipped over. Then he continued laughing from the floor until he choked on weed smoke. "No you morons, there's a job opening at Wendy's that I'm going to take." Darcy said. "Hopefully I can pay off that fucking wizard's debt before the feds get to us."

The witch showed up to the job interview with some apprehension. Darcy's only prior job experience was being a psychopathic manipulator that attempted to enslave the free world, and she didn't know how well that would translate to working in the fast food business. "So Miss Darcy, what are your qualifications?" the Wendy's manager asked. "I can magically force people to order the most expensive things on the menu." she said. "Actually, I could force you to hire me right now. Which is what I'm going to do."

After mentally raping the manager into giving her not only a job but a raise and health benefits, Darcy put on her work clothes and went to the counter to take orders. Business was slow at the Wendy's so she put in her earphones and listened to Venom while waiting for customers. Then the worst possible thing happened, the entire Winx club walked through the door. "Motherfucking shitdicksicles." Darcy politely muttered. "Oh my god, look who's at the counter!" Stella shouted. "Witch be TRIPPIN nigga" Musa said. Layla looked offended.

"Okay guys, just order your damn food and leave. I don't want to do this right now." Darcy said.

"Fine. Just don't poison it or anything because we're watching you and I will torch you." Bloom said. "I'll have a soy burger please." Flora said. "I don't want a veggie burger, because even though it's not made out of animals, it's still made from living things and that's murder." Darcy rolled her eyes. "You do realize that soy is beans, right? You're basically eating ground up plant fetuses." Flora's eyes widened and she collapsed on the ground, vomiting her guts out. "I'm... a... monster..." she gasped, thinking about all the soy she had eaten in the past.

While Tecna and Musa helped Flora to the bathroom, Stella strode up to the counter. "I'll have a baconator with a double order of fries and a diet coke." she said. As Darcy went into the back to get the food, Valtor exploded through the wall in a flaming ball of weed. "I heard there were hamburgers." he said.

Will Valtor get a hamburger at Wendy's? Will Flora die of bulimia? How do the Winx stay so fucking thin? All these questions will be answered...

Right now.

yes

no

fucking magic


	7. Flora Goes To Taco Bell

Bloom stared at the sorcerer before her. Valtor, he who had helped destroy her home, ruined her life, and killed her parents. Taken from her so much, and left nothing. Her eyes burned at the mere sight of the monster. "What are you doing here?" she spat, itching to transform and fight the villain. "I just want a goddamn hamburger." Valtor replied, smoking his joint. "Bloom, this guy is higher than a kite right now. Maybe we should let him get his food and leave." Layla suggested. The redhead growled, but nodded. Now wasn't the time.

Darcy returned to the counter holding a tray of food. Then she saw Valtor and the rubble of the wall. "You've got to be shitting me." she said. "I know right?" Stella said, making a grab for her baconator. But before she could touch it, Valtor swooped in and snatched it. "AHAHAHA, YES. AT LAST, THE BURGER IS MINE." He shouted triumphantly. Instead of shoving it into his mouth, the wizard opened up the bun and removed the three pickles laying there. "Not this time you fucking pickles!" he laughed. "Hold on you pissfaced bastard, that's MY burger!" Stella shouted, transforming. Valtor merely grinned and licked the patty. "Do you still want it?" he asked smugly.

Stella screamed and shot a blast of sun energy from her staff, vaporizing the baconator. "You still have to pay for that." Darcy said. Valtor's face contorted into an expression of rage as he realized what just happened. "WHY MUST FATE TORMENT ME SO" he wailed, collapsing to his knees. "All I wanted was a hamburger! That's it! Not even fries or a shake, just one meager pickle-free patty!" Stella frowned. "Well you should have thought of that before you became a filthy drug abusing criminal." she said.

Burning with weed rage, Valtor stood up. "There shall be blood spilt this night." he growled. Spontaneously, Slayer began playing from the Wendy's speakers. Darcy threw up the horns. "If you want a fight Valtor, you've got it." Bloom said, shooting fire at him. Valtor was too high to get out of the way, so was blasted across the room. Then before he could stand he was whipped across the face by Layla's pink goo powers or whatever the fuck she does. "I'm getting my incredibly attractive ass kicked." Valtor said, realizing that all the time he spent smoking pot had limited his magical ability.

* * *

MEANWHILE IN THE BATHROOM

(The following was written by guest author Gilbert Gottfried)

Flora continued to vomit on the floor, blood mixing with her bile. She attempted to stand, but slipped in it and landed face first in the mess. "This is most unhygienic." Tecna said. Flora attempted to speak, but in doing so accidentally licked some of the vomit. The nature fairy's eyes widened in surprise, it tasted... good. Her animal instincts taking over, she proceeded to lap up all of the puke on the floor. "That shit nasty, nigga!" Musa said, before hurling all over Tecna's face. Tecna swallowed some of it and begane to puke uncontrollably herself. Before long all three fairies were completely naked and spraying bodily fluids everywhere. Then Shane the bird man walked in. "THE ARISTOCRATS" he said.


	8. WinxKlok

Valtor sailed out of the roof of the Wendy's, propelled by Bloom's spell. He hit the road with a rough thud. "No amount of weed can fix this injustice." he said, patting out the fire on his coat. "I have ignored my mission for too long. I must become the universe's most powerful wizard and destroy the Winx club, that is the only way I can be ensured of getting a hamburger." then he was blasted from behind by another spell. "I'm going to destroy you." Bloom said, fire cloaking her body. "Give me a fucking break here, this isn't fair." Valtor said. Bloom ignored him and charged her attack, but before she could use it, she was hit by a huge black vehicle with bladed wheels and a spiked grill.

Bloom's upper body was impaled on the hood while her lower torso was ripped off and shredded by the sawblade wheels of the car. Blood was all over the road and sidewalk. The fairy attempted to speak, but all that came out of her mouth was blood. "I told you this would happen. You're too fucking drunk." A large man with long black hair growled, stepping out of the passenger's seat. "Hey, it's not like any of us are sober. Besides, she looks okay." a man with red dreadlocks and a thick wisconsin accent said as he got out of the driver's seat. Bloom's lower jaw fell off.

"This ams dildos, what is we's stopping for?" a Swedish voice said from the backseat. "Pickles ran over somebody again." the black haired man growled. "Whoa, Nathan look, she's got, like wings." Pickles said, poking Bloom's corpse. "We should take a picture and use it for an album cover." Nathan said. "Brutal fairy corpse. Fucking metal." Valtor stared at the scene in amazement, Bloom was actually dead. "Excuse me gentlemen, but I would like to thank you for doing my job." Valtor said, bowing. "Hey, no problem buddy. Nice coat. Wait a minute, do I know you from somewhere?" Pickles said. Valtor thought he recognized the drummer as well, but his weed addled brain could not remember.

"This fucking piece of junk isn't moving!" Murderface said, pushing on the gas peddle. "Looks like the wheels are too tangled up with guts." Nathan Explosion replied. "That's a good song name. Tangled Up With Guts." Just then Darcy walked out of the front door of the Wendy's. "Hey Valtor, the Winx Club left. I can give you a goddamn hamburger no-" she stopped midsentence when she saw the others standing there. "OH MY GOD, IS THAT REALLY DETHKLOK?" she squeed fangirlishly.

"Yes. We ams." Skwisgaar said. "And you ams a WILF. That means witch I would like to f-" "HEY YOU HAVE NICE TITS" Murderface shouted. Then Darcy saw Bloom's thoroughly deceased body. "And they killed Bloom! This day is perfect." she said.

"Hey, witch lady, do you have a car. Ours won't drive." Nathan asked. "Wait a second, I can make one." Darcy said, closing her eyes and concentrated her magic, making a slick black sports car that seated five. "Wowee! Real magics! Just likes in Harry Potters!" Toki said. "I'll drive!" Pickles said. "No. Fuck no." Nathan growled, holding him back. Darcy got in the drivers seat, and the other members got in the others. Except for Murderface, there was no seat left for him. "Aww come on guys!" he whined. "You cans walks to the hotel, burns off some of your fat bellies." Skwisgaar laughed before they drove off.

"How about you, douchebag? You gonna leave me in the cold too?" Murderface asked Valtor. "Yes." The wizard replied, flying away.

* * *

The Winx Club sat around in their room, worrying about Bloom. "She should have finished Valtor off by now, he was way too high to put up a good fight." Stella said. "Yeah, there's no way she could have lost." Layla agreed. "Bloom is our nigga homies, we should check on her yo" Musa said. Layla glared at her. "Stop saying that word. It's offensive to me." "What word nigga?" Musa asked. "YOU'RE FUCKING ASIAN. YOU DON'T HAVE N WORD PRIVILAGES" Layla shouted. "Whateva nigga" Musa replied.


	9. Fellowship Of The Bong

Valtor had spent hours in his secret magical library, looking for the key to becoming all powerful. Dozens of books lay scattered about, empty of the knowledge he was looking for. "If I am to destroy the rest of the Winx club, I must gain more power, but I also don't want to stop smoking weed." he said, smoking some weed. Valtor leafed through the pages of an old tome, labeled "GWARchive". Then he found it, the very object he had been searching for. "I've found it! The very object I've been searching for!" Valtor said. Upon the wrinkled yellow page was the fabled Nitro Burning Funny Bong, an artifact of unimaginable power.

"The fabled Nitro Burning Funny Bong is an artifact of unimaginable power." Valtor read out loud. "In the hands of a skilled wizard, it can be used to achieve universal domination and get higher than the sun at the same time. But beware, if you are not strong enough, just one hit and your life goes wrong." the sorcerer grinned like a shit eater. "Once I obtain this bong I will destroy everything except for hamburgers." he said. "But where do I find this legendary weapon?" then he looked down. The book said exactly how to find it. "Oh." Valtor said.

"The Nitro Burning Funny Bong has been split into three pieces for safety." the book said. "The first piece, the stem, is somewhere in the mountains of Pyros, guarded by a horrifying monster. The second piece, the base, is hidden in Cloud Tower. The final ingredient is not a physical object, but the souls of one hundred beings killed in a single night." Valtor thought that was reasonable. Now knowing his mission, he walked into the other room to gather the witches for the quest of the bong. "Hey bitches, we're going to go to Pyros to steal a magic item." Valtor said. They ignored him because they were busy watching some vocaloid shit on the internet. "Damn you Miku, you have betrayed me again." Valtor said.

After unplugging the modem, the sorcerer finally got the witches to listen to his plan. "Listen up, we're finally going to kill the Winx club, but first we need to make an ancient weapon. For that reason, we're going to journey to Pyros to find one of the pieces." Valtor explained. "Whoa, have you actually not smoked weed today? Because that made a lot of sense." Icy said, in awe of Valtor's focus. "icy pls" Valtor replied, smoking a joint. Then they all magically went to Pyros via magical public transportation.

"There it is, the legendary cave." Valtor said, pointing at the legendary cave. "Stormy, you go first. You're the most expendable and your afro attracts danger like a magnet." Stormy grumbled, but went anyways. A few minutes passed after the witch had disappeared into the blackness, with not a sound to be heard. "Okay Darcy, you next." Valtor said. "Are you kidding? I have heels on. Expensive heels." Darcy scoffed. "THAT'S AN ORDER" the wizard shouted. Then Darcy grabbed his joint and threw it into the cave. Like a dog after a stick, Valtor chased his precious weed into the cave. After watching him disappear, Icy and Darcy decided to go get some coffee at Starbucks.

What horrors await Valtor and Stormy in the secret cave? Will Icy be able to get a frozen latte drink at Starbucks for under five dollars? Find out next time only on 4Kids TV


	10. Welcome To CWCville

**(WARNING: if you don't know who Christian Weston Chandler is, this will make a lot less sense. If you do know who he is, I am deeply sorry.)**

Valtor opened his eyes to see an entirely different world. It was warped and twisted, out of proportion and poorly colored, as if a 5 year old had drawn the very landscape. The grass was a scribbled green, and the buildings in the distance were lopsided abominations. It was as if reality itself had taken a diarrhea shit on an unfortunate canvas. "What the fuck is going on, I don't remember having any LSD with that weed." Valtor said. Then he saw a strange, repulsive yellow rodent creature walk up to him. "Hi, I'm Sonichu!" it said. Valtor decided that he had in fact taken LSD. A shit ton of LSD.

The wizard scratched his head. "So... Sonichu. Where the hell am I?" he asked. Sonichu gasped. "Chris-chan says that Godjesus doesn't approve of the H-word!" the badly colored Sonic OC chided. "What, you mean Hepatitis." Valtor idly picked his nose. The odd animal thing was already getting on his nerves, partly due to the sheer hideousness of it. "No, the one you said! Are you a troll out to get father?" Sonichu questioned, sparks flying from his cheeks. Valtor frowned. "Do I look like a fucking troll to you? You'd better take me to your father, you pathetic monstrosity." he said. Sonichu glared at the wizard. "Those big words sounded mean and prickly wicklies aren't okay here in CWCville!" he said. "Chris-Chan will decide what to do with you!"

Valtor followed the electric hedgehog Pokemon into the town, if the misshapen squares could be called such a thing. What awaited the sorcerer was something he never could have prepared for. Inside one of the buildings dwelled the one Sonichu had called Chris-Chan, an obese 30 year old bespectacled man in a striped sweater vest, wearing a crudely made medallion of Sonichu around his neck. "I am Christian Weston Chandler." the gargantuan manchild said with a slight southern accent. "TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of Sonichu, the electric hedgehog Pokemon." Valtor shuddered, this being was far more unstable than he.

"If you're one of those DANG DIRTY trolls, you can, you can just get out right now." Christian continued, furrowing his brow in stress. "I'm busy tryin' to build a sweetheart from the ground up." the wizard's eyebrows raised. He needed to find the bong piece and leave as quickly as possible. Then from the back room came the sound of a woman screaming in alarm. Valtor thought the voice sounded familiar. "That's my new sweetheart. I was just havin' her listen to my music CD, Christian and the Hedgehog Boys." Christian said. The woman screamed again, and this time Valtor could tell that it was Stormy. "IT'S SO TERRIBLE, MAKE IT STOP" Stormy wailed. "I CAN'T EVEN MOVE ANYMORE". "It sounds like she's ready to give me her heart, and... china..." Christian said, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

Valtor didn't really care about anyone but himself, but even he couldn't leave Stormy in the hands of this disgusting manchild. Without warning, the wizard punched the fat man in the face and rushed into the other room. As soon as he entered, he was barraged by the sound of Christian badly dubbing over a Backstreet Boys song with his 'improved' lyrics and atrocious singing voice. It was the most hideous thing he had ever heard in his entire life, even worse than the dreaded Nickelback. "Help me Valtor, I can't take it anymore..." Stormy whimpered, surrounded by hand drawn Sonichu porn covered in a strange white crust. "Normally I would leave you to die, but this is a fate worse than death." Valtor replied.

* * *

MEANWHILE

Icy and Darcy waited in line at the local Starbucks, deciding what to order. "When did coffee become so damn expensive?" Icy said. "It's expensive for you because you want a frozen latte yuppie drink. It's way cheaper to drink it black." Darcy pointed out. "Shut up wiotch, you know I hate hot beverages. And even if you didn't, it should be painfully obvious because of my name!" Icy snapped. "Seriously though, could my parents have been any less original? 'Oh, she was born with ice powers. Let's name her Icy.' Give me a fucking break." and in the end Darcy had to spot Icy 2 bucks which will probably never be paid back.


	11. The Tecminator

Valtor grabbed Stormy and headed for the door only to be blocked by Christian Weston Chandler, obese manchild and original creator of Sonichu the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon. "You can't take my heartsweet from me!" the striped sweater vested creature blubbered. "All I need is a boyfriend-free girl!" Valtor's lip curled in disgust. Such a pathetic creature he had never before encountered; not even that one time he stumbled onto 4chan had been this vile. Then the wizard noticed something, behind the Sonichu medallion around Chris' neck was the fabled stem of the Nitro Burning Funny Bong. It was rather large and prominent, so how it managed to even fit there doesn't make any sense, and Valtor really should have noticed it earlier. But he was too fucking stoned.

"Give me that bong stem!" Valtor shouted, lunging for the treasure. The wizard grabbed it and the medallion easily from around Chandler's neck, because did you really expect a fat guy like that to be able to move out of the way. That was a rhetorical question, hence the period. "No!" the manchild cried, attempting to grab his medallion back. Then Valtor pulled a pistol from underneath his coat and shot him 47 times point blank in the chest. Then he shot Sonichu a couple times too for good measure. Fuck reloading, he's a goddamn wizard.

"Wow, burying that body took a long time." Valtor said, wiping sweat from his brow as he looked upon the mediocre grave they had dug for Christian Weston Chandler. "Next time remind me not to kill such a fat guy." Stormy laughed and nodded her head. "Hey Stormy, you wanna get high?" the wizard asked. "You know I do." the witch replied. "High shovel." the duo said in unison, clanking their shovels together in celebration.

* * *

MEANWHILE

The Winx Club gathered mournfully around the corpse of their deceased leader. "I can't believe she's gone..." Stella sobbed, tears ruining her makeup. "I can't believe Bloom the fairy is fucking dead." Layla agreed, putting her hand on Stella's shoulder. Flora covered her face with her hands, not wanting to stare at the putrid rotting remains of her former friend. "That shit is wack, yo." Musa said, to no one's amusement. Only Tecna showed no emotion, staring blankly at the body as if she were scanning it. "It has begun." she said out of nowhere, causing the other fairies to look at her oddly. "What do you mean?" Layla asked. "There is something I have been keeping from all of you, and it is time I showed you." Tecna replied, reaching up to her face.

With one sudden motion, Tecna ripped part of her own face off, revealing a glistening metal material beneath the surface. In place of an organic eye gleamed a pulsating green light, and the circuitry and mechanics that composed her brain were vaguely visible. "I am in actuality not a fairy, but a robot sent from the future to prevent Valtor from obtaining the power to take over the universe. In my time, he has already accomplished this, so we must change the past to stop him." she said. The Winx's jaws dropped in shock. "This is some trippy shit nigga." Musa said. Then Layla punched Musa in the face.

**(So many obscure references, I'll try to keep the number down in the future)**


	12. Acualy Is Vatlor

Valtor and Stormy left the horrific warped landscape of CWCville and returned to the cave entrance from whence they had came, Valtor triumphantly grasping the stem of the Nitro Burning Funny Bong. "Now we have one third of the ultimate magical weapon." he said, grinning evilly. "Next we shall seek the base of the bong in the dread mountains of Erakylon, where it is said to be guarded by a being of near unstoppable power." Stormy blinked. "Fuck that, it sounds dangerous. I'm gonna go see if Icy and Darcy are still at the coffee shop." she said, leaving Valtor by himself. "Damn witches." he said. "Better smoke some Smart Weed to think of a good plan." then Valtor lit up a joint and did exactly that.

Completely stoned and holding the illusion that calling weed "Smart Weed" makes you smarter by smoking it, the wizard flew to Eraklyon. He hit the ground with a shaky thud, you know, the kind that makes the camera jiggle a bit. "Alright, now I have an awesome fucking plan." Valtor said. "And the awesome fucking plan is to get high. Which I did. Now what?" he asked himself. After several minutes of quiet contemplation, Valtor remembered what he was supposed to be doing in the mountains. "I need to get even more high." he finally concluded, rolling another doobie. This cycle continued for hours, finally culminating in a troll bludgeoning the wizard senseless and dragging him to a mysterious cavern.

When Valtor awoke, he found himself staring into the face of a clown. The clown had black and white makeup and a spiked red nose, with shaggy blue hair and deranged eyes. Valtor glanced down and then immediately regretted it, as he could see the clown's junk through his jumpsuit. "I'M DR. ROCKZO THE ROCK AND ROLL C-C-C-CLOWN, AND I DO COCAINE!" he shouted in the wizard's face. "Interesting." Valtor replied blandly. "I'm Valtor, the world's most powerful wizard, and I seek the base of a bong." at this, Dr. Rockzo's eyes lit up. "I got one of those baby, but Dr. Rockzo don't hit anything but C-C-C-COCAINE. I'll give it to ya for some sugar."

Valtor was about to agree when another man walked into the picture. He wore a suit and had a reptilian expression on his face. "Surely you weren't going to let our guest leave without trying some Totally Awesome Sweet Alabama Liquid Snakeᵀᴹ?" the man asked Rockzo, who cringed in fear. "What is this Totally Awesome Sweet Alabama Liquid Snakeᵀᴹ you speak of?" Valtor asked. "Only the greatest psychotropic drug ever invented. It makes that weed you're smoking look like boring lawn turf." the man said, holding out a syringe filled with a strange blue liquid.

The wizard hesitantly took the needle. He hadn't really experienced any sort of hardcore drug before, being content with marijuana. Dr. Rockzo and the drug pusher watched him intently as he made up his mind. "Go ahead, inject it directly into your veins." the man hissed. Valtor had a major urge to do as the man ordered, but the idea of hitting the Nitro Burning Funny Bong was too great a dream to give up. Using all his willpower, Valtor crushed the syringe in his hands, blue liquid dripping to the floor. "C-C-C-C-WUH OH" Dr. Rockzo said. "Impossible! No man has ever resisted the allure of Totally Awesome Sweet Alabama Liquid Snakeᵀᴹ!" the other man said.

Valtor stared the man in the eyes. "I am no man." he said, ripping off a mask and revealing that it was actually Stormy the entire time. Then she shocked them both into unconsciousness and took the bong base.

* * *

Meanwhile, at the coffee shop, it was revealed that actually Valtor had left, dressed in drag and a purple afro wig and was now eating biscuits with Icy and Darcy. "Your switcharoo plan was stupid as fuck and made no sense." Icy said. "Why the hell would you even do that?" "It's simple." Valtor replied. "Stormy and I smoked a hella ton of Smart Weed after we killed Christian Weston Chandler, and then we came up with that fucking awesome plan." he said, sipping on his tea. "That still doesn't explain the purpose, or anything at all really." Darcy pointed out. "If I was somebody reading this on the internet I would be confused as fuck." Valtor laughed. "EXACTLY."


	13. The Eve Of Fuckery

Tecna laid out her digital model before the rest of the Winx. "From the data my drones have collected, Valtor has already collected the two pieces of the Nitro Burning Funny Bong. Now all he needs is the energy to fuse them together, which comes from the deaths of one hundred beings." she said. Layla gasped. "That's awful! We need to find him before he goes on a murderous rampage!" Tecna nodded. "Indeed. However, we must be exceedingly careful in how we hunt him. The wizard is more powerful than ever before, and with his new focus he will be a most challenging opponent." the fairy said, turning off her projector.

"hey gals, do you think this dress made entirely out of salad looks dumb?" Stella said as she walked into the picture, clothed only in lettuce and carrots. "Um, yeah, it makes you look stupid as hell." Layla said. "It's also positively barbaric." Flora added. "If you're going to wear living things as clothing, why don't you just make a dress out of human skin?" Stella put a hand on her chin. "Hmmm..." she said, thinking of how to do exactly that. "This crack is wiggity wack yo, get what I'm sayin' my double O niggas" Musa said, causing a vein to pop in Layla's head. "If you do that one more time, I'm going to kill you. I swear to god." she growled. For once, Musa was wise enough to shut up.

* * *

MEANWHILE

Valtor laughed maniacally as he gazed upon the two pieces of the legendary bong. "I'm so close, so close..." he whispered, eyes brimming with unrestrained demonic glee. "Now all I need is to harvest a hundred souls to fuse the parts together. But where will I be able to accomplish that much carnage in a single night without being discovered?" he wondered aloud. "Why don't you just go out and start killing people? That usually works for me." Icy offered. "No," Valtor replied, "The robot is on to me. I can't afford to be so reckless. The slaughter must be contained and organized." he tapped his foot and gazed upon the room, until he laid his eyes on Darcy, who was talking on the phone with her new boyfriend.

"So Nathan, what are you doing tomorrow night?" Darcy asked, playing with her hair. "If you're not too busy I could come over and spend some quality time with you. I've got this new leather outfit I think you'd really enjoy." in a nearby chair, Stormy gagged. Hearing their conversation, Valtor grinned. "Darcy, may I speak with Mr. Explosion for a moment?" he asked, holding out his hand. "Why? I'm still talking to him about stuff." Darcy replied. "Listen bitch this is important, it's about destroying the Winx Club." the wizard snarled. Intimidated by him for the first time in ages, Darcy gave up the phone. "Hello Mr. Explosion, this is Valtor. Yes, the one with the 'fruity clothes', as you say. I would like you to do a Dethklok show in Magix tomorrow. Oh don't worry, I can assure that I pay handsomely..."

* * *

MEANWHILE AGAIN

"Hey guys, that gay wizard wants us to do a concert in fairy town or something." Nathan said, hanging up the phone. "Oh wowee! I wants to play for the fairies!" Toki said enthusiastically. "Fairies are gay and I'm not gay, so I say no." Murderface said. "Don't be such a dildos, Murderface. I has never banged a chick with wings before. I says we do it." Skwisgaar said. "I'm really drunk and probably not using my best judgement right now, but I say we play the fuckin' show." Pickles agreed, taking a swig of straight vodka. "Then it's settled, we're gonna bring metal to the elf, fairy, things." Nathan growled.


	14. The Grand Finale: In a Gadda Da Valtor

The Magix concert hall was filled that night, as legendary death metal artists Dethklok were scheduled to perform their first ever show in the magical dimension. Anyone who was anyone was going to be there, so tickets sold out fast. Musa was the first in line to buy them, purchasing tickets for the Winx Club, the Specialists, and even Mirta and Lucy. Stella and Flora had complained that they wouldn't like the music, but Musa forced them to come, insisting that they would change their minds. Mirta and Lucy on the other hand were already huge Dethklok fans.

"Man, it's so cool we're going to a metal concert together, just like old times!" Mirta said to Lucy. "Yeah, really brings me back. I'm glad we can be with each other like this." Lucy replied. The redhead stared deeply into the taller girl's eyes, and suddenly the two embraced, locking lips and shoving their tongues into each other's mouths. The other girls stared awkwardly at the graphic lesbian makeout scene.

"Called it." Stella said, still wearing her ridiculous salad dress. "I know a carpet eater when I see one, told you Layla." the African American fairy sighed "Damn, you win the bet." "Yeah," Stella replied, "now you owe me ONE MILLION SPACEBUCKS" the sun fairy chortled, gooey pizza sauce, melted cheese, and pepperoni dripping from all of her pores. "A million? That's unfair!" Layla gasped. "Unfair to the payOR, but not to the payEE!" Stella jibbed, her salad dress entirely covered in greasy pizza toppings.

Just then, the specialists arrived. "Hey Musa, thanks for the tickets. You have better taste in music than I thought." Riven said. "Yo, no problem my main squeeziggle." Musa said. Riven backed away slowly. Brandon walked up to Stella and began eating the pizza off her face. "You're delicious." he said, melted cheese dribbling down his chin. Timmy wandered over to Tecna, a nervous expression on his face. "So, does you being a robot mean we can't bang?" he asked. "Affirmative." Tecna replied. Then she punched him in the dick with her metal fists.

Helia and Flora embraced while Layla pretended not to care about Nabu. "Who's that, Sky?" Layla asked the prince, pointing towards the blond girl he had brought with him. "Oh, this is Diaspro. She used to be my fiancée until I cheated on her. But since Bloom died, I figured that I could get back with her." he said. "You're a fucking sociopath bro." Nabu said. "I know." Sky laughed.

* * *

Valtor watched from a balcony as the masses poured into the concert hall. It was going to be a massive show, and the stage had all the right preparations made to ensure maximum carnage. Boiling pots of oil, pyrotechnics, and spikes everywhere. The wizard was sure he would be able to achieve the amount of deaths he needed to fuel the Nitro Burning Funny Bong. He rubbed his gloved hands together in anticipation, grinning from ear to ear. "I will finally be able to ascend and enslave this universe! Then nothing will stop me from ordering a hamburger." he chuckled.

The Winx Club, the specialists, and the two witches with them, shuffled into formation near the front of the mosh pit. "Oh boy, it's been a long time since I've thrashed around." Mirta said. "Yeah, hopefully you won't get stepped on this time." Lucy joked. Then they made out again.

Then the stage lit up with lightning and flames, as the five members of the legendary Dethklok took their places. "We have come tonight, to rain metal and death upon you pitiful creatures." Nathan Explosion growled into the microphone. "But before we do, I'd like to give a shout out to that gay wizard for paying us a fuckton of money to do this, and to my girlfriend Darcy for being fucking hot."

Riven's eyebrow arched up. "Darcy?" he wondered out loud. But before he could ponder further, his ears were shattered by the sudden torrent of death metal.

"Aww, that's so sweet of him." Darcy swooned up in the balcony. Icy and Stormy simultaneously rolled their eyes. "So how long are we gonna have to listen to this noise before people start dying?" Icy asked. "Hey, this is fucking good music." Darcy hissed. "Yeah whatever, give me 80's bands over this crap any day." the ice witch replied. "I like rap music." Stormy interjected, causing both her sisters to glare at her. "Enough bickering," Valtor said. "It's time to cause some _accidents_."

Dethklok was halfway through playing their second song, "Hatredcopter", when a lightning bolt struck the base of one of their oil vats, causing flaming liquid to spill into the crowd. People writhed in agony as they burned to death on the concert floor, but it didn't deter any of them from continuing to mosh. Over 40 people died from severe burns, but the show went on. Then a blade of ice severed the giant hanging spiked chandelier, causing it to collapse on the center of the crowd, crushing and impaling them. Timmy was unfortunately run through the middle by one of the spikes as Tecna looked on, showing absolutely no emotion.

"Yo, Timmy got wasted!" Musa shouted. "That poor skinny ass nigga!" Layla's eyes burst into flames. "I WARNED YOU, I FUCKING WARNED YOU" she screamed as she transformed into her fairy form. "What's goin' on you crazy nigga?" Musa asked, just before Layla cut her head clean off with a scythe made from her powers. "Holy shit, you killed Musa, now I'm gonna stick you!" Riven said, drawing his sword. "Not if I stick you first." Layla replied shoving Riven into one of the many spikes all around them. The other members of their group were too busy moshing to notice the carnage.

* * *

"Yes... YESSSSS" Valtor laughed as the souls of the deceased were sucked into the bong. "THE INSTRUMENT OF MY ASCENTION IS COMPLETE!" then Valtor put his lips on the Nitro Burning Funny Bong and absorbed all of its dark power. It flowed through the wizard's veins and caused a demonic transformation to occur. His skin grew red and scaly as he grew five times in size, horns, wings and a tails sprouting from the sorcerer's twisted body. "I AM HUMAN NO LONGER, I AM THE LEGENDARY WEED DEMON" Valtor roared.

He then sent a blast of magical energy into the amplifiers, stopping the music completely. "What ams goings on?" Skwisgaar asked. "LISTEN TO ME MORTALS, I AM VALTOR, AND NOW YOU SHALL ALL DIE" the demon bellowed. "It is just as I feared," Tecna said. "Valtor has achieved the ultimate power. Still, we must attempt to stop him." the remaining Winx Club members transformed and flew into the sky to confront the monster. "This looks like a good time to get the hell out of here." Lucy said. Mirta wanted to stay and help her friends, but decided to concur with Lucy in the hopes of getting some later that night.

The few living specialists also got out their weapons to engage Valtor. "Take this, dickface!" Sky said, throwing his sword at the beast. It harmlessly bounced off Valtor's leathery scales, and only served to grab the demon's attention. Valtor than stepped on Sky, crushing the prince into a bloody mess on the floor. "Fuck this, I'm outie." Diaspro said, flying out of the concert hall. "Sunbeam attack!" Stella shouted, only further irritating the weed demon. He then swatted the sun fairy into one of the boiling oil vats, which cooked her to perfection.

"Stella!" Brandon cried, running over to his crispy former girlfriend. The cheese coating she had been wearing earlier was now a perfect golden brown. He took a bite. "You're delicious..." he sobbed. "This is pretty fucking metal. We should record it for a music video or something." Nathan said. "I ams scared, what ifs we dies?" Toki whimpered. "Don't be a pussies Toki, this ams just computers generated graphics." Skwisgaar told him.

Valtor then grabbed Flora, rolled her up into a joint, and proceeded to light her head on fire. The nature fairy screamed as the demon smoked her into oblivion. "Damn, now Flora's dead too! This is bad Tecna, how can we defeat him?" Layla said. "According to my data, it is absolutely impossible at this point." Tecna replied. "Fuck, even we didn't want things to go this far." Icy said, flying in to join the fairies. "What if we combine our powers with you losers?" Tecna shook her head. "No, that wouldn't help."

Meanwhile, Darcy had gone onto the stage to be with her boyfriend. "Darcy, are we gonna, you know, die, here?" Nathan asked nervously. "The way things are looking, there's a pretty good chance." she replied, grabbing his hand. "Well if I'm gonna die, I wanna die doing something awesome. Like you." the death metal singer said, zipping open his fly. Without another word, Darcy dropped her pants and they started shagging right there.

"Aw, come on guys! I don't want the last thing I ever see to be you guys fucking!" Murderface complained. "Well I'm not gonna die at all!" Pickles shouted. "I didn't drink twelve pints of vodka this morning to just keel over!" then the drunken drummer grabbed a cymbal off his drumset and threw it like a discus at the demon, causing Valtor to turn and look at him. "YOU DARE OPPOSE ME, HUMAN?" the weed demon boomed. "YOU'RE WORTHLESS, YOU BELONG IN A GARBAGE CAN"

Those words caused the drummer to have a flashback, back to when he was a teenager about to run away from home. "Get out of here, you belong in a garbage can." his dad had told him, right before he left. Then Pickles came back to the present day, with eyes full of fury. "I BELONG IN A GARBAGE CAN? _YOU_ BELONG IN A GARBAGE CAN!" Pickles shouted, jumping up into the air and punching Valtor right in the jaw. The monster fell from the sky and crashed into the ground, all of his weed power leaking out of him in the form of piss.

* * *

When Valtor got to his knees, he was in his wizard form once again, all of his power gone. Pickles stood over him, triumphant. He surveyed the carnage he had caused with a weary eye. Timmy, Riven, Sky, Flora, Musa, Stella, they were all dead, along with thousands of other nameless audience members. Nathan and Darcy had noticed that Valtor was defeated and were hastily attempting to get their clothes back on, while Layla mourned the loss of all her friends except for Musa.

"You know, we could probably kill the few remaining fairies right now while their guard is down." Stormy murmured to Icy. "Yeah, but the mood just isn't right. That fucking wizard ruined absolutely everything, I never would've helped him if I'd known this was gonna happen." the ice witch said. "Then you want to kill him instead?" the weather witch suggested. "Hmm, maybe, yeah." Icy replied, walking over to the defeated sorcerer.

"Any last words, you goddamn asshole?" Icy asked Valtor as she created an ice ax in her hand. "No, just get it over with." the wizard sighed, bowing his head. Icy raised the ax into the air, preparing to decapitate her former ally, when she was suddenly interrupted. "Stop!" a strange voice shouted. Then Shane the bird man walked in, carrying a box from burger king. He went up to the fallen wizard and placed the box in his hands. "Here's your order man, a regular hamburger with no pickles and extra tomato." Shane said, crying and smiling at the same time. "I'm sorry."

Valtor slowly opened the box and took out the hamburger, appreciating the mere fact that it was in his grasp. He bit into it, and his mouth exploded with exactly the flavor he had been craving for so long. Shane had told the truth, there were no pickles, and an abundance of tomato presided. The wizard closed his eyes and allowed the taste of the burger to permeate his very soul. His goal in life fulfilled, the rest of the hamburger dropped from his hands, and he collapsed, never to rise again.


End file.
